


Bunk'd: LOTR Edition

by mobbitxlas



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Attempt at Humor, Bad Humor, F/M, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22206391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mobbitxlas/pseuds/mobbitxlas
Summary: Camp Arda is summer wilderness camp with... interesting counselors. Aragorn and Leggy are veterans. Arwen is the Tumblr girl. Eowyn is the horse girl. Faramir wanted to go to summer theatre camp, but his dad sent him here without warning since his older brother Boromir was a camp counselor once. What happens when you add in crazy moths, mayonnaise sunscreen, and a budding Aragorn/Arwen romance? The answer: crackhead shenanigans, underage drunk shenanigans, and a lot of Gandalf and Elrond sleep-deprivation.
Relationships: Aragorn | Estel & Legolas Greenleaf, Aragorn | Estel/Arwen Undómiel
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	1. Leggy Hates Moths

**Author's Note:**

> If you are an actually educated LOTR fan invested in a fic with actual plot, realistic characters, and linear timelines, this is not the fic for you. If you want a lot of "Three crackheads try to navigate summer wilderness camp and accidentally fall in love with a side of cuddling and moths and terrible camp baked beans," boy howdy, you are in luck. Enjoy!

The day before camp started, the camp counselors have a retreat for camp counselors (mostly at the insistence of Head Counselor Elrond, who majored in psychology and thinks that he’s an expert on getting young adults to talk about their feelings). 

“At Camp Arda, we are dedicated to fostering an open-minded and safe space for all campers and counselors. Along those lines, are there any triggering topics that we should avoid?” Gandalf asked, looking at the counselors who were brimming with potential.

Legolas shot his hand up. With a dead straight face, he deadpanned, “Moths.”

Most of them were brimming with potential, at least.

Silence consumed the counselors. Gimli, who was the counselor of outdoor crafts, awkwardly shifted around while Eowyn, who tended to the horses, made a face. The sound of cricket noises could be heard. Aragorn lost what little hope he had for Legolas’ future. He could feel his soul drift away from his body.

Nothing could have prepared anybody for what was to come with Legolas’ peculiar fear of a certain type of bug. 

“No moths,” Legolas continued despite the silence. “I will die on this hill. No. Moths.”

Aragorn slumped in his chair. He had lost an additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he had.

No one, not even Aragorn, knew why Legolas hated moths. Legolas never explained his odd phobia, not even to his best friend. The other camp counselors have considered asking Thranduil, his father, but he was so intimidating and not forthcoming that everyone, including Arwen and Aragorn, quickly gave up.

There had been multiple instances in which Legolas’ phobia had been the talk of the camp.

One time, Legolas was by the campfire, and he spotted a moth fluttering near the flames. Then, he booked it in the other direction and didn’t return to the camp until the next morning. Aragorn found him lying half-dead and shaking in a ditch.

Another note-worthy time was when Legolas thought he had spotted a moth in his soup. Without thinking, he dumped the soup on his buddy, Aragorn, who was trying to look presentable for Arwen, and promptly ran away. It was Thranduil who caught Legolas and dragged him back to camp. 

Upon their arrival to the camp, Thranduil had asked, “Legolas, why’d you run away?”

Legolas responded without skipping a beat, “Moths.” 

“Oh.” Thranduil released his hold on Legolas and went into hibernation because he’s a homie and understands his son’s plight.

The first day of camp rolled by. Almost everything ran smoothly.

Almost.

A returning camper thought it would be funny to tape moth memes all over Legolas’ room today. Legolas had an aneurysm and died. The campers mourned him greatly, except for the prankster, who was now eating in the cafeteria.

Aragorn finished his eulogy and sat down.

Legolas sat up from the poorly crafted wooden box the campers had made during an arts and crafts session. He said, “Stop telling people I’m dead.”

Aragorn wiped a fake tear. “Sometimes I can still hear his voice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading we hope we didn't burn your eyeballs off kudos appreciated but not required


	2. EXPOSITION ASF, or legolas is a swiftie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legolas Likes Taylor Swift and Aragorn Wants to Rot, aka disaster leggy adventures part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stream evermore by taylor swift

“Welcome, campers, to Camp Arda,” Gandalf said, surveying the crowd of bumbling campers. Most of them were short in appearance, but their liveliness made up for it. cAuSe tHeyRe hObBiTs

“Shut the fuck up, you fuckers,” Elrond didn’t say, because he’s the head of camp and has to be politically correct. But he thought that internally. He felt his soul leaving his body and becoming one with Aragorn’s.

Aragorn had a smile plastered on his face, which was ironic, because he was dying a little inside. He wore his best outfit today. Everything was from REI. All of his outfits were actually the same, because Aragorn is actually a fictional character and only wears one outfit for continuity. 

Legolas was standing behind Aragorn staring blankly at the phone in his hand. For being the second senior counselor, he wasn’t even looking at the crowd :|. Gandalf looked over and was concerned about his mental wellbeing. So, he decided to publicly humiliate Legolas because he did not major in psychology and was not an expert on getting teenagers to talk about their feelings.

“Legolas, want to share what’s on your phone for the class?” he asked. Legolas turned around and ran into his cabin and locked the door. Aragorn’s lost soul promptly ascended even further into the afterlife. “Okay, that was very Emo, as the children would say.” Elrond ignored Gandalf, like he always does. 

One of the campers, Pippin, decided to be helpful. “Taylor Swift announced a new album today. It’s coming out at midnight,” he stated. Gandalf and Elrond looked at each other with wide eyes. Legolas did not react well to new content. Along with yesterday’s moth incident, it was likely Legolas would die from shock. He would die to Taylor Swift’s new album in the background.

Aragorn sighed. This meant that he would have to take over all of Legolas’ activities for the day. He hated friendship. He wiped his hands on his REI Co-op Men’s Trailsmith Pants Brown 38 in Waist x 32 in. pants. “Okay, if you were in Legolas’ group, just come with me,” Aragorn said.

(we had a visual prepared but also it doesnt work so if youre so fucking curious just look it up <3) 

The rest of the day progressed as normal. Aragorn was dreading going back to his cabin because he knew that Legolas was an unpredictable being in the presence of Taylor Swift. He would much rather hang out with Arwen. He wished Legolas was as obsessed with Arwen as he was obsessed with Taylor Swift. But no also he didn’t want that. He felt like writing “emo poetry,” as Gandalf would probably have called it. Both because Arwen but also because Legolas made him reconsider his entire plane of existence.

Everyone could hear Taylor Swift’s old albums coming from Aragorn and Legolas’ cabin. Aragorn steered clear from it. He wanted to hide in the forest for the rest of the week and become one with nature, but he was the only responsible counselor :| so he actually had. To do the counseling. While Legolas was rotting. 

Aragorn knew he ideally shouldn’t go near the cabin until at least an hour after 12AM, or else he would have to deal with Swiftie!Legolas. This was a very dangerous alter ego that he had to avoid at all costs. Everyone else had gone into their cabins though. Rotting in the forest sounded like a really good idea. But he didn’t particularly want to rot to Taylor Swift. It wasn’t right for the mood.

After he told all the campers that Legolas was hibernating, Aragorn took every ounce of courage he had to step foot near the cabin. He could hear Taylor Swift. He didn’t want to hear anymore of it. He respected strong women, but not Legolas. He tried the door knob. IT WAS LOCKED?!?!?!?!??!?

Aragorn was fed up with Legolas and his crackhead vibes this year. So he unlocked the door. With his key. Because HE LIVED IN THE CABIN TOO GOD DAMN IT LEGOLAS WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!?!>@

Legolas was eating mayonnaise out of a jar with a spoon. “Iii knewwww youuu wereeee troublleee when you waaaalkked innn so shame on meeee…….” belted Pippin, Gandalf, and Taylor Swift. (Taylor Swift wasn’t physically there. She was there in spirit though.) There was a record scratch and the music stopped. Why? Who knows. This is a fictional world and record scratches spontaneously happen apparently.

“Are you done?” Aragorn asked. He didn’t even bother asking why Gandalf and Pippin were there. Or how they got in. 

“No,” Gandalf said. “That was just a warm-up for before the album comes out.” 

Aragorn put his pillow over his head and screamed into it. It seemed like so long until 12AM. Aragorn cried into his pillow. He didn’t want to ruin his REI Co-op Unisex ‘75 Diamond T-shirt Green L… he’d bought it to impress Arwen <3 

(i changed it to a large bc i dont think aragorn wld fit into a small… <3)

Aragorn fell asleep. When he woke up, everyone who was in the cabin was passed out on the floor and Taylor Swift’s “no body, no crime” was playing in the background. Aragorn shrugged and went back to sleep. He woke up at dawn to Legolas screaming. 

Frodo, Sam, and Merry were staring down at Aragorn. They turned their heads in tandem to look at Legolas, who was tangled in his sheets, and Pippin, who was sprawled on the floor after Legolas threw him in shock. Gandalf was nowhere to be found. He was sneaky like that. 

“Hey Aragorn, we were very hungry and were wondering if you could make us some sandwiches uwu also Pippin what are you doing on the floor? Were you hungry too?”

Pippin and Legolas looked at each other. And then at the clock. And then at Spotify. Legolas screamed again. “SDKFSKLDFJDKF WE MISSED THE ALBUM SLJDSW38U23UR93DJWE#&^$%@^$&” they screamed in despair. Aragorn bet they really wanted to rot in a forest now. Ha.  
In response, he grinned at the three Hobbit campers. “I know something better than sandwiches. What about some fresh lembas bread from the kitchen?” Aragorn grinned. He was sure today was going to be a much better day. He led the four campers to the kitchen while whistling “I Knew You Were Trouble.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and quoth the raven, "evermore"  
> (insert "obligatory kudos and subscribe and comment but only if you want to" message)


End file.
